Whole30 Day 11

Turns out my predictions were correct (gratefully) - this Whole30 hasn't been nearly as difficult so far as my last attempt! We are already 1/3 of the way through the month, and it has been going by quickly. Starting in December to clear out non-compliant foods from my kitchen and my diet has honestly made all the difference. I've had plenty of ideas for delicious meal plans (and quick, on-the-go things to bring with me for lunches and when I'm away from home), and haven't been bored of anything I'm eating, because there's been so much healthy variety in my diet this past week.

Chopped-Almonds-and-Parsley over Greens with Almond-and-Coconut-Crusted Crab Cakes topped with Avocado Mayo

It's actually hard to decide whether my favorite meal of the week was the Crab Cakes & Greens, or the Lamb & Sweet Potato Shepherd's Pie (with the side of Green Beans & Red Bell Peppers). How amazing is that, not being able to choose which of two amazing dishes was the best in one week? In a typical, pre-Whole30 week, I would be very lucky to have spent the time making even one amazing dish ... it was maybe more like once a month that I would have a really memorable, exciting meal. This whole week has been filled with them!

Sweet Potato & Roasted Lamb Shepherd's Pie with side of Green Beans, Sweet Onions & Red Bell Peppers sautéed in Coconut Oil

The Whole30 does not even feel like a diet. Although, I've never really been on 'a diet,' so I probably wouldn't know what they feel like. I've gone one-two months without things before (one month without dairy, a month & a half without sugar), but have never really calorie-counted or limited my food choices or daily caloric intake. During a few health challenges I've done during the past couple of years, I've tracked my calories in and exercise, but I've never deliberately limited them, trying to lose weight or anything. I've always felt that 'diets' aren't successful because they don't take into account the health of what you are eating ... they seem to be mostly about limiting portions. But it doesn't seem like 'limiting portions of cake or ice cream' is really as healthy a choice as not eating cake or ice cream as often! And I was certainly eating sweet treats very often ... hence the weight I've steadily gained over the past 10 years since my post-high-school metabolism really kicked into (or out of) high gear.

There are a few things I remember about my first Whole30 attempt. One was the food boredom - I got sick of eating the same things over and over again (especially fried eggs in the morning), because I didn't take the time to plan, prepare, experiment with new recipes, and research ideas for how to cook various cuts and types of meat & seafood. This past week, I haven't felt that way at all ... I've always got extra hard-boiled eggs available for on-the-go protein options and a different type of egg for breakfasts, plus I've made the Chicken, Sweet Potato, & Apple Hash a few times which is a super-satisfying 1st meal of the day and, even better, is excellent both hot and cold. I think I had fried eggs twice, so I haven't gotten sick of that yet.

Another thing I remember was this major drop in energy and need for what seemed like way too much sleep ... up to 12 - 14 hours. It really seemed extreme, and very difficult to get done the things I needed to during the days, because I was sleeping so, so much. So I'm happy to report that I haven't had that problem this week at all! In fact, I've been sleeping really well. It hasn't been as difficult to fall asleep (although I'm pretty sure that has more to do with the 10 min. guided meditations before bed that I've been doing, also since the 1st of January, than it does with what foods I'm eating). I could be wrong, though ... it's certainly possible that the healthy foods I'm eating are helping me fall asleep quicker and sleep through the night better. Even better, I've been able to excel at my first week of a new job, working three nights until 9:00 p.m., and still waking up refreshed and on time for my teaching position (for which I leave my house between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m.) twice a week.

The third thing I remember was this awful crankiness ... I'm not usually a cranky or unpleasant person, but I remember feeling really stressed out (about not knowing what/when I was going to eat next, and/or how long it would take to prepare) and irritable most every day. This had to do with feeling exhausted and still having to go about my days like a normal human, of course, but also just felt weird, because I was so down-spirited and crabby. From what I've read now, it seems that my body was crashing from lack of sugar, which was the energy source it was used to surviving on, and hadn't yet switched (noticeably) to burning fat instead.

This time around, I haven't felt the severe lack of energy or the crankiness, so I'm doing much better overall. I have come down with some cold symptoms, but I'd had a flu and a cold during December, so that just seems to be from the time of year and being around other people who are sick, as opposed to how I'm eating. So ironically, one of the things I've been missing most so far has been throat lozenges! I've been enjoying chamomile teas instead, which are also quite soothing to my sore throat.

I have noticed that my clothes have been fitting a bit looser, but haven't noticed any significant changes in my psoriasis, complexion, congestion, or headaches diminishing, which are all reasons I decided to take on the Whole30 challenge. No doctor has ever been able to tell me why my head constantly aches ... perhaps the daily mindfulness meditations will help with that as well, but I'm really hoping that one of these days soon, I'll notice some relief from them. I was guessing that all the added sugars and dairy in my diet would be contributing to the headaches and congestion/sinusitis.

I'll keep you posted on what I learn!

Whole30 Day 1

For about the next month, this blog will be where I share & track my progress through the Whole30 Challenge -- I won't be posting every day (because I have to work, work out, live life, etc.) but when I do post, I'll let you know which day I'm on and how the Whole30 is affecting me.

I guarantee it will be affecting me greatly, because I will be eating only compliant meats, seafood, veggies, fruit, nuts, and seasonings -- no grains, legumes, dairy, or added sugars for 30 days! Which is most of what I typically eat, to be honest. So it's a huge change in shopping habits, meal planning, and habit forming. I've been drooling over delicious recipes with things I never make, like zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash, and various cuts of meat, for the past month, getting myself geared up for all the many veggies and protein meals I'll be preparing in the coming month -- like this one I made last week!

Whole30 Compliant Meatballs with Homemade Marinara Sauce over a bed of Zucchini Noodles

Please feel free to follow me along this journey -- and to post your questions, comments, concerns, etc. I've committed to do this for 30 full days, because of a few incessant/recurring health issues that I'm fed up with in my day-to-day life. Namely, sinusitis, psoriasis, and headaches. So if, at the end of this experiment, I am no longer suffering from even one of those things, I'll be thrilled! And ready to slowly, methodically reintroduce healthy items back into my diet, such as oats, quinoa, plain yogurt, etc ... one at a time, to see if any of them were causing any of these things. My guess -- it's the added sugars and artificial sweeteners! But, we'll see. Could be any number of things, or a mix.

As for Day 1, which is drawing to a close, I've had some delicious foods using up some leftover roast lamb I made earlier this week, as well as a refreshing potato-ginger soup. Let me know if you're interested in recipe-sharing! I can post recipes in the comments, if anyone would like to try out some of these foods. They're really very simple, using the most basic ingredients, because this way of eating is all about appreciating the most natural foods, in their most natural forms.

Mostly, I'm feeling more excited than nervous, because I've read The Whole30, and am about halfway through It Starts With Food; in the last month I've made lists upon lists of meals that look simple and delicious; my wife and I have stocked our kitchen with compliant ingredients to pull out and use in the coming days; and I even exercised for half an hour today, and my energy levels are still feeling great.

So for Day 1, check! I followed my goals, and feel ready for tomorrow. Thanks for your encouragement!

Wrapping Up 2015

On New Year's Eve of 2014, I chose a word to describe my vision for my life in 2015. The word was 'Thrive.' I chose it because I had been working hard during the few years prior, to shift my perspective in life from 'surviving' to 'thriving,' and I wanted to constantly remind myself this year:

We are no longer in survival mode -- we are ready to thrive!

At the time I chose this word, I had been a nanny for the adorable little boy of a couple of family friends for just a couple of months, following about a year of working for Youth City, where I was facilitating after-school programming for kids in Salt Lake City between the ages of 7 - 18. I was also teaching French classes to 5th-8th graders at the Salt Lake Arts Academy a couple of afternoons a week, and I felt more at peace on a day-to-day basis than I had in years. I was indeed feeling ready to thrive! During the first few months of 2015, I began considering career options that I hadn't before, such as becoming a full-time nanny/au pair, or co-operating a pre-school/day-care center based around ideals of humanistic, diversity-minded, child-centered, and (loosely) attachment-parenting-styled care.

By the time the summer rolled around, however, I had realized that the things I was loving most about being a nanny were connected to the very things I loved about teaching. I determined that if I didn't do everything I could to apply for teaching positions, and give a fair shot to becoming a full-time teacher, I would look back years down the road, and regret that decision not to try ... I've wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember, and I've loved every minute I've spent in front of a classroom of youth. So when I realized what exactly had been holding me back/making me hesitate (the fear that I would somehow fail at being an effective teacher once I was in a full-time position), I was able to kick that fear to the curb (I had no proof to back up that fear -- every teaching opportunity I'd had in my life so far had been successful and rewarding) and begin applying my heart out!

I am now teaching two days a week at a public charter school in Provo, Utah, which is a bit of an unpleasant commute, but I absolutely love the classes I'm teaching, the kids, parents, and staff I'm working with, as well as the overall vision and mission of the school. It's not full time, but it is turning out to be the perfect stepping stone toward the career goals I've set.

Through the ups and downs of this year, as I've wished I could do more to help those closest to me through their struggles and difficulties, I've continually come back to this word, thrive. When faced with giant, seemingly insurmountable challenges, I've been able to breathe, meditate, and slow down enough to ask - when I make this decision, will it be a decision that will help me continue to thrive? So it's been a great year, overall! When I have a word like that to guide me, it really doesn't matter what challenges life throws my way, because I know I will face all of them with an eye toward what thriving looks like to me. What will help me thrive today? What will help me thrive tomorrow, and next week, and next month, and next year? It's been wonderful to have that perspective.

Also, I've lost (and kept off) 12 lbs. during the past few months, so I'm feeling very literally lighter with every step I take. Thriving, to me, has a lot to do with making healthy and happy choices on a day to day basis, so when I've seen those numbers on my scale steadily rise over the years, I've known that I have to make conscious, deliberate, mindful choices to change my habits and challenge my status-quo, if that status-quo is not a healthy one that will contribute to my life-long wellness!

As 2015 wraps up, I've begun considering what word I'll be choosing for 2016. Some top contenders: health; wellness; joy ... whichever word I choose, though, I know this is going to be an excellent year! I'm not delusionally oblivious to the very real stressors and challenges that life will be throwing my way, but I am demandingly optimistic that my attitude will be helping me to find the positivity in every possible moment. Even when we are in pain -- we are alive! And as long as we are living, we can be choosing in every possible moment to be well, even by making the smallest of changes and actions that promote well-being.

A Day For Moms

Mother's Day is one of my favorite holidays, because I am reminded around this time of year just how many amazing moms and women are in my life. My biological Mother's birthday is coming up soon, so she's often on my mind in the month of May, but the Mother's Day holiday reminds me every year of all the many women I love. 

Mama Judy, who married my Dad when I was 14 ... my big sister Lindsay, who has four little ones ages 6 and under now ... my sisters in-law who are raising adorable nieces and nephews I love ... my closest friend Lindsay I've known since we were 12, who is the newest 1st-time mom I know ... and all my coupled and single friends, those who hope to have kids of their own someday, as well as those who know they'll never want to raise little ones of their own. 

Being a mother doesn't make you a woman, any more than being a woman means you must at some point in your life be a mother. But all the women and all the mothers in my life have something about them I love and admire. It isn't one single thing, either, like ' kindness' or 'compassion,' because all the men and fathers in my life are kind, compassionate people as well. It isn't gender-specific, like all the women are loving or selfless, either. Because all my favorite people know when it's important to sacrifice their wants for the greater good, and when it's important to take care of their own needs so that they can then have more to give to others.

There's something very non-gender-binary and universal that I love about all the women and mothers in my life ... It's something kind, yet fierce ... Compassionate, yet practical ... Its a sense of realness and genuine love they all have in their hearts and minds. You know who you are! You are tough, firm, and gracious. You are strong, flexible, and brave. You tell those you love what you need, want, and expect ... And you understand that while life isn't always fair, you do always have control over your own perspective and attitude. 

You are my sheroes, and your herstories will be the ones I tell my own nieces and nephews and sons and daughters. This Day For Moms, I honor and celebrate you all! Thank you for being purely YOU, the exact human I can point to and say, 'See her? You could be like her someday!' 

L'amour plus fort que la haine

This phrase, "L'amour plus fort que la haine" was on the cover of one of the first magazine covers I found when I searched for the cartoons of Charlie Hebdo, wondering what could have caused such ire in the hearts and minds of the terrorists who killed 12 in Paris a few short weeks ago. It  translates, roughly, to:

Love is stronger than hate.

I have a t-shirt from the Human Rights Campaign that displays a similar sentiment:



Mere days before these attacks, I had finished penning an invocation -- a plea, a hope for humanity -- as a response to the many recent killings of black Americans at the hands of white American police officers. Outcries of #BlackLivesMatter, #JeSuisCharlie, and #NAACPBomb do little to assuage my pain and heartache at the situations in which we are finding ourselves as humans in 2015.

This year, I am entering my third decade. And it won't be a silent one . . . not that my years leading up to this moment in my life have been all that introverted and quiet, granted. But my passion is only building. I will not release or diminish the dreams I held as a child that this world could be fair, just, and loving! I refuse to 'grow up,' if 'growing up' means giving up, sitting down, or shutting up.

I urge you to join me in continuing to raise awareness for injustices in our world -- but far more importantly, I beg of you to join me in spreading joy, love, and peace in the smallest-seeming places in which we find ourselves each day.

Make time to pet your dog, cat, or bunny while you feed them today -- to truly feel their presence, and be grateful for their places in your homes. Watch your fish in their tank as they swim, and laugh at their funny habits.

Find an opportunity to put down your smart devices and turn off your screens, to truly connect -- viscerally and passionately -- with your family. Call them, if you don't live with them. Just to simply ask how they are, and say you love them. Look them in the eye, if they live with you -- not just as you briefly kiss them hello or goodbye, but an extra, added little while . . . touch their face. Remember what they feel like. Look them in the eyes.

Make a child laugh . . . and laugh yourself!

Do these things every single day, and believe it or not, they will change the world -- yours, and the worlds of those closest to you. And those changes will ripple out further and further. Together, we can and will change this world, because love is stronger than hate.

Here is the Hope for Humanity I wrote because #BlackLivesMatter. According to the New York Times, "One reason the chant ‘Black Lives Matter’ is so important is that it states the obvious but the obvious has not yet been historically realized."

I am holding a hope in my heart . . .

a hope for this human race, in which we all take part.

My heart is hurting with hope . . . 

that Eric Garner, age 43, was not murdered for naught;

that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., age 39, was not assassinated in vain;

that Darrin Hunt, age 22, was not shot dead for nothing;

that Michael Brown, age 18, was not attacked and killed for no reason.

My mind is mourning each of these merciless murders . . . and many more,

while my heart, heedless to these repeated horrors, adheres to a faint 

but palpable hope that there will not be yet another senseless, cruel death

next week, tomorrow, or this very next hour, minute, or second.

I am raising my reasoning and respect for all Americans - and all human beings -

who refrain from answering pleas of "I Can't Breathe!" with chokeholds!

I am pleading with the peace-keepers to please, please pardon 

the pejorative insults persistent youth are hurling at systems of injustice.

I am begging every brother, sister, father, mother, daughter, son, boy, and girl alive

to treasure life - all life - so fiercely . . . to respect and guard and honor

every human being as they would their very own girl or boy, daughter or son,

father or mother, sister, or brother. 

As we listen to every excruciating cry of these, our fellow humans who are dying, 

May we hold this hope in our hearts, that their harrowing, heartrending cries 

will never fall on apathetic hearts, numbed to injustice, or blighted by dispassion.

May our hearts hold up hope, as a beacon to obliterate apathy, injustice, and dispassion.

May our minds maintain the momentum needed to turn this hope into action.

May our human race collectively humanize the de-humanized.

May our journeys collide, and may all our hopes ignite the fires of compassion, 

to heal all the hopeless hearts.

Happy & Healthy Holidays

Since September, I have been participating in Health Challenges led by an aunt of mine, whom I have seen make incredibly impressive strides toward healthier living in recent years.

When I began these Health Challenges, I did so for two main reasons. The first was weight-management. At that point, I had reached a higher weight than ever before, I no longer fit into any of the jeans I had been wearing for years, and I was constantly feeling unhealthy when I looked at my ever-expanding stomach. I read about weight gain in the abdominal region being the most potentially damaging type, and was becoming worried about my future ability to ward off disease. I will be turning 30 in just one month! So all this year, future health has been on my mind.

The second reason was that I wanted to begin seriously preparing my body for the possibility of becoming pregnant. I would like to be living in my youngest-feeling, most-healthy body possible when I have children . . . not only so that I can carry them healthily through pregnancy, but so that I can roll around and laugh and play with them once they arrive! I want to offer my best to my kids . . . but even if for some reason I never bear children of my own, I know that I want to also offer my best to myself. If I'm ever going to teach my younger siblings, nieces & nephews, or students that they are deserving of all the best this world has to offer, I have to start believing that for myself! And if I deserve the best, most healthy body possible, I know I have to show myself that I am worth cooking & exercising for.

This Holiday Season has already begun, and I recently celebrated the best Thanksgiving of my 30 years alive so far. With family on Thursday, and friends on Saturday, I managed not only to refrain from over-eating and to take smaller samplings of each available dish, but also to lose 1 lb. the week of the feasting! I haven't been depriving myself of things that I love, so much as I have been celebrating all the many delicious (and nutritious) things that I love, that my body also loves. I've been listening to my body (which rewards sugar intake with headaches) and reacting to my hunger and thirst in healthy ways. It's a beautiful thing, tracking every bite and sip we intake, increasing our awareness of how we are treating the body we are living inside . . . this is it, folks. This is the body you were born into, and it's the body you'll leave when you die. We should treat it as the precious, surprising, amazing, curious, living, breathing flesh it is!

I hope, if you are reading this, that you will remember to breathe and listen to your beautiful body this winter, as well -- may your Holidays be Happy & Healthy!

 

Summer Reading

My Dad and Wicked Stepmother moved to California a few months ago.

They had been living a mere half-an-hour away from my home in Salt Lake City, Utah for more years than I could count . . . their home was where I lived during my final two years in high school, and where I knew I could always find shelter, good food, laughter, and love whenever I needed it.

Since my early teen years, my Dad & Judy have been two of my most trusted mentors, advice-givers, film & literature critics & connoisseurs, life-supporters, and, perhaps best of all, friends. They have been supportive, and often even nonchalant & unfazed, during many of my most humiliating growing-up years. They have taught me not only to love living life to its brim, but to express that love for life with a wisdom, grace, and calm confidence I can only hope to emulate.

Their relationship has served as a beacon of hope through difficult relationships I've come through, and their strength, creativity, and passion for learning have inspired me to live my life in stronger, more creative, and more passionate ways. I am sure they'll never fully know the gratitude I hold for them. How can we, as children, ever fully show our parents the measure of gratitude that would ever be commensurate to what they have given us in love & support, through all the hardest times of our lives, let alone for the one gift they gave us, to which no other gift can compare -- Life?

My Dad gave me life originally, along with my Mom, and he has continued to give me all the life worth living that he has had to offer. And Judy, knowingly or not, gave me life again, through junior high & high school, by recognizing symptoms of depression and anxiety that, had they gone untreated, could have resulted in the gravest of outcomes. The teenage years are times of hardship, confusion, painful transition, and growth -- for every teen, and for every parent! So I know how much I truly have to be grateful for, with these two loving parents for friends.

Their home, now in California, will continue to be a place where I can find shelter, good food, laughter, and love for many years to come, so there is no mourning necessary! Of course, I miss them dearly. But I also have the pleasure of talking with them often, and now having a great excuse to vacation near Yosemite National Park.

One of the final requests I made of my Dad before he moved away, was that he let me in on his reading lists. My Dad is an exceptionally talented artist, writer, and computer graphic designer. One of his many creative endeavors of late is his blog on writing, which he calls The Leaky Pen 2.0. It's this awesome collection of thoughts, inspiration, advice, and encouragement for writers of all stripes. Whether you write news articles, blogs, humor columns, screenplays, fiction, non-fiction, or anything else, The Leaky Pen offers jump-starts to creativity in every way imaginable. I love reading every post, thinking about what he might come up with next, and, most of all, learning about what all the famous writers he spotlights have (or had) to say about writing.

So this summer, I've gotten in on the action! Dad told me the next author he would be spotlighting (he writes about one author a month, to honor them in the month they were born) was George Orwell, and the book he would be reading was "Animal Farm." I was thrilled, since I loved reading "1984" (once in high school and again as an adult) and had always been curious about Orwell's other work. It was extremely enjoyable to plow right through that one, as short as it was, and to laugh with my Dad on the phone about every genius thing the Pigs had said.

After Animal Farm (which was a blast to read aloud with friends, by the way), we tackled "The Sun Also Rises," by Ernest Hemingway. This was a surprisingly enjoyable read, since I hated it for the first few chapters. The writing felt bland, a bit like the main character was simply writing laundry-lists of what had happened to him day by day . . . "I went to work. This guy came to visit me. I tried to get rid of him by taking him out to coffee and hinting I needed to get back to work. He didn't take the hint and followed me back up to my office. Then we went out to eat. Then these other people met up with us."

Had I not been reading this one alongside my Dad, I probably would have put it out of sight, out of mind, shortly after opening it to give it a chance. However, I was surprised to find, a few chapters in, that I legitimately cared what on earth was going to happen to the laundry-list guy, the annoying fellow following him around, as well as the other characters (one feisty woman in particular, much more interesting to me than the main guy) he met/interacted with along his way.

The bull fights were intriguingly disturbing to read about, and there were surprising developments and increasingly entertaining dialogues as the novel continued. Excellent read.

Now, I've got to admit I'm no horror fan. So, for my Dad's sake, I legitimately tried to get interested in H.P. Lovecraft's short stories. I checked out a beautiful collection of Lovecraft's writing from The Murray Library, which, in the midst of the flooring project that's been going on here in my apartment, I promptly lost.

Don't worry, I'm happy to donate the replacement cost of the book to the local library so others can enjoy Lovecraft's work! I'm sure it'll turn up around here someday, in which case maybe I'll have a good gift for my Dad, lover of horror books & films that he is. I only made it about halfway through "The Call of Cthulhu," before misplacing my copy, which was, admittedly, quite an enjoyable read. I found it similar to Shelley's "Frankenstein," or Stevenson's "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," both of which I enjoyed immensely, so I'm sure I will like it when I eventually do finish it.

As for the final book of the summer, we've only just begun reading it this week. But so far, this one is calling for the most calling! What I mean is, when I finally called to admit I hadn't finished "The Call of Cthulhu," my Dad sort of brushed that aside to say that the next author and title is William Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury," which pronouncement he followed with, "Go and get it. I need to talk to you about it." I laughed, said I would check it out that day, and call him the next. That was one of our briefer phone calls this summer, but it was followed up two days later by the following:

*Ring, Ring*

Lauren: "Hi, how are you doing?"

*angry pause*

Elaine: "I am halfway through The Sound and the Fury. How the hell do you THINK I am doing?"

*hearty laughter followed by intense, possibly hour-long conversation, including much referencing and quoting and reading aloud of passages we had both read thus far, and lots of good-natured yet frustrated bantering back-and-forth regarding character's names, relationships to other characters, and genders*

We then agreed to keep reading, taking notes, and paying attention to certain things the other had brought to attention, and I proceeded to start the book over from page one (for the third time).

Two days later, I called again, and this time, I am a bit further than him, so now I know exactly how he feels and I'm the one saying, "Read more, now! I need to talk to you about it!"

So, if you're looking for an incredibly tantalizing, challenging-to-understand, yet enchanting and miraculous book, where you'll be asking yourself, "HOW did Faulkner WRITE this!?" from page one on through, pick up "The Sound and the Fury!" Now. Then call me. 801-654-7614. We need to talk about it.